Prejudice and Opportunities

I have been praying about this project for almost two weeks now and it has been amazing to see how much God has already done to transform my heart and answer prayers. Two weeks ago I was asking God to show me how to help and now, I have such an opportunity to but no way of doing so. Let me explain...

I was walking back to my car after returning to the house for a forgotten item. As I was climbing into my car I saw a guy approaching my next door neighbor's house. I knew he was going to ring my doorbell next, so I figured I would save my dog a lot of barking and intercept him. I asked if he was selling something. He turned around, looked at me and laughed. Indeed he was selling magazine subscriptions. He walked over and gave me his spiel. I took the papers from him and began to browse the selection. Silence.

Then he said, "You know, you are one in a million. I mean that. I have been to 13 states selling magazines for 20 months and I have NEVER met someone who saw me coming and initiated talking to me. Usually people run away or pretend they don't see me. I have had doors slammed in my face but I have never had someone about to drive away stop just to talk to me." This just goes to show that the simplest action can really make a difference. In my mind I was just taking a moment to show respect to another person. To him, I was treating him like a person.

Even before he said all of that, something just told me I had to talk to this guy and hear his story. So, I  contemplated buying a magazine (something I never do!) just for the simple fact of supporting him. I didn't need any magazines, and he wasn't selling any that I would buy any way. But I just HAD to buy. As I was writing out my check I asked him one simple question. As a result, we ended up standing in my driveway talking for about an hour.

I don't honestly even remember the question I asked but I do remember what I learned as a result. I learned his name, where he was from, why he was selling magazines and what he would rather be doing.  More importantly, I learned about his life and his heart.

His parents died in a car accident when they were hit by a drunk driver. As a result, he was raised in an orphanage until he was finally placed in a home (I'm not sure if it was a foster or adoptive family). He was abused in the new home but was too scared to tell anyone because he didn't know what would happen. But through all of the horrible things that had happened to him as a child, he was now on his own, trying to make a living so that one day he could start a non-profit to help other kids like him. He wants to be a motivational speaker so that he can tell kids that even in all of the hard things they are going through, JESUS STILL LOVES THEM!!!! This guy was loving the Lord and singing his praises! He was such a breath of fresh air. To hear someone with a grateful attitude and a joyful heart is refreshing let alone the fact that he had been through so much and he was still that way. He was in town working to sell magazines door to door so that he could save enough money to go to school. He wanted to go to school so badly that he was working six days a week in ten hour shifts. Now that is dedication.

Personally, I believe in buying the $1 newspapers sold by the homeless people on the streets of downtown. No, I don't need the newspaper (I usually tell them just to keep it) but I believe in the principle of supporting someone who is trying to make a living. It's not any different than intentionally going to a local store rather than a big chain store as a way of supporting local business. So, the opportunity presented itself for me to support someone who looked like he was trying to stay off of the streets and working a very hard, thankless job as a way of surviving.

He was very dark skinned and had a gold cross etched into one of his front teeth. He was dressed in a nice collared shirt with a tie and nice but fairly baggy jeans. He had an oversized jacket on too. He looked like he had a rough past and he certainly stuck out in my neighborhood. As horrible as it sounds, but his appearance and what I was sure would be a "cultural barrier" between us almost made me too scared or nervous to talk to him. I was so judgmental and prejudice. Now, I was feeling ashamed. If you reread the paragraph above you will notice that I said "looked like." What a snap judgment to make! I have always thought of myself as a "colorblind" person when it comes to race, but being in this unexpected situation brought to light some issues that surprised me. I was being confronted with things that I am going to have to take a good long hard look at to rectify. It's one thing saying "I'm not prejudice or racist" but it's a totally different thing to truly be free from those poisonous things. I know I am probably ruffling some feathers with this, and it's hard to be this blatantly honest about such a sensitive subject, but I had to share what was on my heart.

Throughout the entire conversation, I  felt like I needed to invite him to church. We exchanged numbers and I told him I would call later to make arrangements to pick him up on Sunday morning.

I sent out an email to my entire church asking for someone to go with me to pick him up. I was so disappointed by the fact that I only had one response; however, I was very grateful for that one person!

The volunteer and I made plans to meet and ride together to go pick my new friend up at his motel. Everything was set for Sunday morning and I was very excited.

At 10:30 I got a call from my new friend telling me that he was so sorry but he couldn't go to church anymore. He explained that he was in a situation at his motel and he was now sitting at the bus station waiting to leave to head out of town. While the details are not important, what is important are the lessons that I learned from all of this.

In addition to learning about my issues with prejudice and such, I also learned that we as a church body are fairly lazy and unwilling to take action. I by no means am trying to point a finger here. Until a little less than two weeks ago I was in that same boat. My pastor offered to go with me to pick my new friend up, and I had one offer from a lady from the church. Again, I am so grateful for these people to offer to help. But I am still amazed that no one else from the church stepped up. I really hope I don't sound judgmental or condemning because that is certainly not how I feel, but I do hope I sound concerned because I am. I am concerned that as a church body we are not reaching out or helping others. We are letting opportunities pass us by without even realizing it. This is something that I recognized in myself and had dismissed for so long until I got to the point when I could no longer stand it. But when is it going to be time for the church to take action? When are we going to start acting like the church?

I know that for so long I had let reasons (a less guilty sounding word than excuses) take control. I am notorious for allowing the "rice" in my life to take over and stop me from helping others or going outside of my comfort zone. Right now I have Matthew West's new song, "My Own Little World" running through my head. I need to stop living in a world with population "me" and start living life the way Jesus modeled for us all. He was willing to go to the well and speak to a Samaritan woman. He was willing to associate with lepers and tax collectors. He showed us all how we are supposed to love and give. My question is, "How would the world be different if the church body started to really take action and love and give the way Bible tells us to? Stop and think about that for just a moment. It only takes one person to do something to effect another. How dramatically different our world would be. Darn, now I have another song in my head, Casting Crowns' "We Are the Body." I know that the Bible tells us to not let one hand know what the other one is doing, so please do not hear me preaching. I am not blogging as a way of bragging. Believe me, that is absolutely not the goal here. (If anything, this whole thing is a bit scary!)  I apologize for the tangent but I felt like I needed to share what has been on my heart.

The last lesson I learned is how it is impossible to do anything without support or money. My new friend called me from the bus station after getting off of a ten hour shift. He had hardly eaten anything all day and he was tired. He needed help. He needed a warm bed, food, and money to help him get to where he was going. He had seven small plastic bags worth of belongings but he is only allowed to take one on the bus and check one bag. He needed a bigger bag to take all of his belongings with him. If he doesn't get a bigger bag he might have to leave some of his possessions behind. He was trying to buy an $8 box to pack things in, but there was no tape to assemble it.

The whole situation is pretty long and crazy, but in the midst of trying to help him I realized that there really are no resources for people who need help on the spur of the moment in the middle of the night. I tried to find shelter and food for him but was limited to suggesting the convenience store around the corner from the bus stop, as it was the only cheap place that was still open at that late hour.

I have food, a sleeping bag, big duffle bags and money I could give him but I do not feel safe driving by myself in the middle of the night to a bus station in downtown. I raided my phonebook desperately seeking to find someone I could call to go with me. No answer.

So, what do I do? As a young female who's husband is out of town, what resources do I have? How can I help? Better question, what resources are there for anyone who needs help in the middle of the night? Where can someone turn to for food and shelter?

My new friend is sleeping on the floor of the bus station while he waits for his bus to depart in the morning. He probably spent his evening trying to decide which of his possessions to leave behind and he most likely grabbed a sandwich at the convenience store around the corner.

I am writing this because I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about my new friend and the terrible situation he is in and how much I want to help. I feel terrible that I am not driving downtown to bring him the items I know he desperately needs. I guess all I can do is...nothing. Now that I have had my eyes open to the world around me and I see the needs of others, I have the opportunity to help but I can't.

It's funny how things turn out.

Before we hung up the phone, my new friend said, "Thank you for doing everything that you could do to help me. I appreciate it. No one has ever done that much for me before. I just have to ask for one more thing. Please pray for me."

I was thanked for doing absolutely nothing. I feel wretched. The funny thing is that I will be getting a magazine in the mail once a month for the next two years as a reminder.

It's almost 1 in the morning and I know I have to go to sleep but I had to share this story and ask for you to please join me in praying for my new friend.

Good night.