Goodbye 2010, Hello Challenge for a Change!

As the end of the year comes to a close, I am filled with great anticipation of what is to come. I have been so blessed this past year and as a result, I want to turn my gratitude into giving. For over a month now I have been preparing to begin my challenge. Starting tomorrow, I am going full swing into the adventure that lies before me. I have been compiling the ideas, creating the list, filling up the calendar and praying as I get ready to launch.

I am so excited to see what God has in store for me; lesson to learn, people to meet, tears to shed and laughs to be had.

My prayer is simple: Lord, change me.

I hope you will join me in this adventure in some way. Whether you become a follower on the blog, share this blog with others, or start your own challenge, I hope this will make a positive impact in your life.

Yesterday I heard a song that I thought perfectly vocalized my thoughts and feelings. It is a prayer too. I encourage you to listen to this and I humbly ask you to pray for me as I begin this challenge. Thanks for being a part of my life and I look forward to sharing 2011 with you!

Happy New Year to you and yours!

Love,
Chieko

Here I Am 

(Click the link to hear the song!)

from the Downhere album “Ending Is Beginning” 

Germain/Martel

Sometimes your calling, comes in dream

Sometimes it comes in the Spirit's breeze

You reach for the deepest hope in me

And call out for the things of eternity

But I'm a man of dust and stains

You move in me so I can say...

Here I am, Lord send me

All of my life I make an offering

Here I am, Lord send me

Somehow my story is a part of your plan

Here I am

When setbacks and failures and upset plans

Test my faith and leave me with empty hands

Are You not the closest when it's hardest to stand?

I know that You will finish what You began

And these broken parts You redeem

Become the song that I can sing...

Overwhelmed by the thought of my weakness

And the fear that I'll fail You in the end

In this mess, I'm just one of the pieces

I can't put this together but You can

Mr. White and the Return of the Starbucks Card

It was finals week and I had every intention of studying between my classes. I went to a Starbucks near my school but was disappointed to find that there was no place to sit. Every table was taken. I drove to another Starbucks just down the street only to find there was no parking. I was a bit flustered but I said a quick prayer asking God to help me not get frustrated and to provide me with a place to study. I drove around the block ready to find a different coffee shop, but then I felt God tell me to turn down the next street and try again. So I did. As I entered the parking lot again I saw a woman getting into her van. I was thrilled to finally have a parking space and to start studying. I walked into the half-full Starbucks and took my seat at a table for two. I ordered my drink and got set to study.

As I cracked my book I noticed a very unusual looking man walk in. He was quite obviously ill and walked with a significant limp. He had an altercation with the barista and seemed frustrated. I watched him for a moment as he stood by the trash drinking his water. I thought it was odd that he was standing for so long when it was obvious that walking caused him pain. Then I looked around a realized that every table was occupied. There were tables for four with only 1 or 2 people at each, and other tables with seats available...including mine. I moved my backpack and offered for the man to take a seat at my table. He sat down and thanked me. I gave a friendly reply and then returned my attention to my book. I just had to get to my studying. Not more than five seconds later was this man telling me his whole life story. I half-heartedly listened and then I realized that this is why I was here. I was not here to study. I was here to listen to this man. I closed my book and refocused my attention to the man sitting in front of me. (This was a lesson for me on priorities. This person was way more important than some test.)

As horrible as it sounds but he was quite grotesque to look at. I can't really describe him accurately other than to say that I had to intentionally force myself to look at him because I naturally wanted to turn away. (Terrible! I know!) He had very greasy hair, hardly any teeth and skin that looked like leather on a used shoe. His sweatpants were hiked around his calf on one leg exposing a bruise and dimpled skin. He introduced himself. He said his last name was White, like my sweater.

I asked him if he had a place to stay that night. He said he was trying to get to a friend's house in Broomfield but he needed bus money. He asked if I could help him out but before I could answer he changed the subject. A few minutes later, a barista brought over two heated sandwiches. They sat on the table for quite sometime as we talked. I asked him if he was going to eat them. He said that they were bacon, which lasts the longest. My heart broke.

We talked for nearly two hours. We talked about everything from how he became a Christian to what he was doing for Christmas. He ate his sandwiches carefully as he told me about his wife who passed away a long time ago and about his two daughters who live out of state. He explained that he got hit by a car, that's why he was bruised and limping.  He told me that no matter where he wakes up in the morning, he always starts his day by saying the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13) The best part of all was when we said the Lord's Prayer together! It's funny, but by the end of the conversation I actually enjoyed how his eyes disappeared when he smiled and looked friendly, not grotesque. After all, he is a brother in Christ.

I reached in my purse to take out some money for him to use for bus fare. I handed him a $5 bill and he quickly stuck it in his pocket. He said that it was embarrassing and he didn't want other people to see it. I understood and I felt bad that I had not been more sensitive to that. He thanked me, looked away for a minute and then he reached back into his pocket. He took out a Starbucks gift card and gave it to me. He told me that there was about $10 on it and said he wanted me to have it. I had no way of knowing what was on the card. I told him that I appreciated the offer, but I would rather him keep it so he could get more bacon sandwiches. He smiled and said he always repays favors. I offered to pay him the money that was on the card so he could have the cash. He thanked me and said again that he "always repays favors." I didn't know what to do. I handed me the card and said he wanted me to keep it. I took it and thanked him.

We shared conversation until I had to leave to go take my final. I had not studied a minute but I felt prepared and ready for the test. I wished Mr. White a very Merry Christmas and all my best. He walked across the street and stood at the bus stop in the bitter cold. I drove to school but I couldn't stop thinking about Mr. White.

I aced my test.

I later found out that the Starbucks card did indeed have money on it. In fact, it had enough to "repay" me for the $5 I gave Mr. White and the free drink coupon I had given to my friend at the bus station.

I learned that I must look at everyone as a child of God. We are all sons and daughters of God the Creator, so who am I to judge another's worth. By focusing my attention on my exam, I was clearly putting my exam before Mr. White. I was saying that the exam was more important. As much as I would love to say I don't get mad at drivers or judge others, I do. I need to start looking at them as a son or daughter of God. Mr. White taught me a lot about myself in how I judge others, place value on other things above people (like my test) and on giving. He wanted me to have the Starbucks card even though that could have been a meal for him. Why did I only give him $5? I had a $20 in my wallet too. I am learning so much about myself and I keep praying that the Lord will prune me. If I want to be Christ-like, I must shift my focus from seeing things from my earthly point-of-view. I must begin to see the world the way Jesus sees it. Brandon Heath has a great song called "Give Me Your Eyes."
http://www.godtube.com/watch/?v=DL6Z7LNX (Click here for the music video).

That is my prayer.

Prayer Through the Night, Answer in the Morning

The night I wrote my last post was a very long night. As I had shared, I was praying for my new friend and had a heavy heart for the situation. After I blogged I tried to go to bed, but I never quite fell asleep. I tossed and turned and prayed all night. I think it was one of those times when I prayed so hard that I was even praying in my sleep. Has that ever happened to you? I asked God to show me what to do. I so desperately wanted to be obedient but I was not sure what was being asked of me. Was I to go by myself and trust God to protect me? Was I supposed to keep calling people until I got someone to go? Was I to wake up my parents ask them to go? I didn't know at first, but as I prayed I felt God saying, "Be still." So I went to bed.

As I lay in bed, I could not turn off my mind. I asked God for two things: First, to please protect and comfort my new friend. Second, for him to show me how to be obedient and to provide me with the necessary means, whether that was a person to go with me or protection if I was to go alone. I remember praying, "Lord, if you want me to do something, please wake me up in your timing. (I am a night owl, NOT an early bird.) I did not set my alarm. 

The next morning, my dog woke me up. I think it was about 6:30 or 7, I can no longer remember. What I do remember was that it was early enough for me to get ready and to catch my parents before they went to church. As I awoke, I instantly felt God say, "Take action." So, I explained the situation to my parents and asked them if they would be willing to go with me. To be perfectly honest, I have very generous, caring, wonderful parents; however, I did not think they would agree to go. To my amazement, they did. They decided to go to a later church service after taking me to the bus station. I quickly grabbed two duffel bags and all of the non-perishable food I could find. I also threw in some fresh, nutritious food. I knew that my new friend would not have food for a couple of days at least, so I wanted to give him enough to last for a while. We hopped in the car and I called to tell my new friend that we were on our way. He asked me to call him when we got there so he could come outside. He did not want me to go in as there was a rough crowd inside. 

As we approached the bus station, I did not see him. We drove around the block as I tried to call him again. Finally, I spotted him. We pulled up and I unloaded the trunk. He thanked my parents and me and gave me a hug. In the bag I included a packet of oatmeal. I explained that he could go to a Starbucks of some place to ask for a hot cup of water and he could make the oatmeal that way. I gave him a coupon for a free drink so that he would be a "paying customer" to avoid any potential problems. (For anyone who knows me, I am a huge coffee fan so parting with a free drink coupon was a little difficult. I know that sounds silly, but we all have our little quirks.) He thanked me again.

A few minutes later, I got a phone call from him. He was telling me that he was already eating some of the food and he "didn't realize how hungry he was." The bus station had a microwave, so he was heating up one of the travel soups. Nothing like chicken noodle soup to warm the soul. 

I felt so good knowing that I was able to help someone who really needed it. I prayed that God would protect and bless him. 

He was not able to come to church with me as originally planned, but I felt God really showed me that HIS plans are greater. It was such a great feeling to be a part of God's perfect plan. 

A few days later I got a phone call from my new friend. He told me that he arrived at his destination and that all was well. He thanked me again. The best part of that call was when he told me he was able to share some food with some homeless people at the bus station. He said (I'm paraphrasing because it was so long ago, I don't remember the exact words...), "I didn't have a lot, but I had more than they did so I had to share. That's what people are supposed to do. You gave me enough food that I was able to share with them." Wow! Talk about a ripple effect! My new friend also gave these homeless men a pair of his pants and shoes. This reminded me of the Bible story of the widow in Mark 12. 

⁴¹ Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. ⁴² But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents. ⁴³ Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. ⁴⁴ They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”

My new friend and I have spoken on the phone a few times since then. I pray that he will find a good job and for God to bless his life.

Prejudice and Opportunities

I have been praying about this project for almost two weeks now and it has been amazing to see how much God has already done to transform my heart and answer prayers. Two weeks ago I was asking God to show me how to help and now, I have such an opportunity to but no way of doing so. Let me explain...

I was walking back to my car after returning to the house for a forgotten item. As I was climbing into my car I saw a guy approaching my next door neighbor's house. I knew he was going to ring my doorbell next, so I figured I would save my dog a lot of barking and intercept him. I asked if he was selling something. He turned around, looked at me and laughed. Indeed he was selling magazine subscriptions. He walked over and gave me his spiel. I took the papers from him and began to browse the selection. Silence.

Then he said, "You know, you are one in a million. I mean that. I have been to 13 states selling magazines for 20 months and I have NEVER met someone who saw me coming and initiated talking to me. Usually people run away or pretend they don't see me. I have had doors slammed in my face but I have never had someone about to drive away stop just to talk to me." This just goes to show that the simplest action can really make a difference. In my mind I was just taking a moment to show respect to another person. To him, I was treating him like a person.

Even before he said all of that, something just told me I had to talk to this guy and hear his story. So, I  contemplated buying a magazine (something I never do!) just for the simple fact of supporting him. I didn't need any magazines, and he wasn't selling any that I would buy any way. But I just HAD to buy. As I was writing out my check I asked him one simple question. As a result, we ended up standing in my driveway talking for about an hour.

I don't honestly even remember the question I asked but I do remember what I learned as a result. I learned his name, where he was from, why he was selling magazines and what he would rather be doing.  More importantly, I learned about his life and his heart.

His parents died in a car accident when they were hit by a drunk driver. As a result, he was raised in an orphanage until he was finally placed in a home (I'm not sure if it was a foster or adoptive family). He was abused in the new home but was too scared to tell anyone because he didn't know what would happen. But through all of the horrible things that had happened to him as a child, he was now on his own, trying to make a living so that one day he could start a non-profit to help other kids like him. He wants to be a motivational speaker so that he can tell kids that even in all of the hard things they are going through, JESUS STILL LOVES THEM!!!! This guy was loving the Lord and singing his praises! He was such a breath of fresh air. To hear someone with a grateful attitude and a joyful heart is refreshing let alone the fact that he had been through so much and he was still that way. He was in town working to sell magazines door to door so that he could save enough money to go to school. He wanted to go to school so badly that he was working six days a week in ten hour shifts. Now that is dedication.

Personally, I believe in buying the $1 newspapers sold by the homeless people on the streets of downtown. No, I don't need the newspaper (I usually tell them just to keep it) but I believe in the principle of supporting someone who is trying to make a living. It's not any different than intentionally going to a local store rather than a big chain store as a way of supporting local business. So, the opportunity presented itself for me to support someone who looked like he was trying to stay off of the streets and working a very hard, thankless job as a way of surviving.

He was very dark skinned and had a gold cross etched into one of his front teeth. He was dressed in a nice collared shirt with a tie and nice but fairly baggy jeans. He had an oversized jacket on too. He looked like he had a rough past and he certainly stuck out in my neighborhood. As horrible as it sounds, but his appearance and what I was sure would be a "cultural barrier" between us almost made me too scared or nervous to talk to him. I was so judgmental and prejudice. Now, I was feeling ashamed. If you reread the paragraph above you will notice that I said "looked like." What a snap judgment to make! I have always thought of myself as a "colorblind" person when it comes to race, but being in this unexpected situation brought to light some issues that surprised me. I was being confronted with things that I am going to have to take a good long hard look at to rectify. It's one thing saying "I'm not prejudice or racist" but it's a totally different thing to truly be free from those poisonous things. I know I am probably ruffling some feathers with this, and it's hard to be this blatantly honest about such a sensitive subject, but I had to share what was on my heart.

Throughout the entire conversation, I  felt like I needed to invite him to church. We exchanged numbers and I told him I would call later to make arrangements to pick him up on Sunday morning.

I sent out an email to my entire church asking for someone to go with me to pick him up. I was so disappointed by the fact that I only had one response; however, I was very grateful for that one person!

The volunteer and I made plans to meet and ride together to go pick my new friend up at his motel. Everything was set for Sunday morning and I was very excited.

At 10:30 I got a call from my new friend telling me that he was so sorry but he couldn't go to church anymore. He explained that he was in a situation at his motel and he was now sitting at the bus station waiting to leave to head out of town. While the details are not important, what is important are the lessons that I learned from all of this.

In addition to learning about my issues with prejudice and such, I also learned that we as a church body are fairly lazy and unwilling to take action. I by no means am trying to point a finger here. Until a little less than two weeks ago I was in that same boat. My pastor offered to go with me to pick my new friend up, and I had one offer from a lady from the church. Again, I am so grateful for these people to offer to help. But I am still amazed that no one else from the church stepped up. I really hope I don't sound judgmental or condemning because that is certainly not how I feel, but I do hope I sound concerned because I am. I am concerned that as a church body we are not reaching out or helping others. We are letting opportunities pass us by without even realizing it. This is something that I recognized in myself and had dismissed for so long until I got to the point when I could no longer stand it. But when is it going to be time for the church to take action? When are we going to start acting like the church?

I know that for so long I had let reasons (a less guilty sounding word than excuses) take control. I am notorious for allowing the "rice" in my life to take over and stop me from helping others or going outside of my comfort zone. Right now I have Matthew West's new song, "My Own Little World" running through my head. I need to stop living in a world with population "me" and start living life the way Jesus modeled for us all. He was willing to go to the well and speak to a Samaritan woman. He was willing to associate with lepers and tax collectors. He showed us all how we are supposed to love and give. My question is, "How would the world be different if the church body started to really take action and love and give the way Bible tells us to? Stop and think about that for just a moment. It only takes one person to do something to effect another. How dramatically different our world would be. Darn, now I have another song in my head, Casting Crowns' "We Are the Body." I know that the Bible tells us to not let one hand know what the other one is doing, so please do not hear me preaching. I am not blogging as a way of bragging. Believe me, that is absolutely not the goal here. (If anything, this whole thing is a bit scary!)  I apologize for the tangent but I felt like I needed to share what has been on my heart.

The last lesson I learned is how it is impossible to do anything without support or money. My new friend called me from the bus station after getting off of a ten hour shift. He had hardly eaten anything all day and he was tired. He needed help. He needed a warm bed, food, and money to help him get to where he was going. He had seven small plastic bags worth of belongings but he is only allowed to take one on the bus and check one bag. He needed a bigger bag to take all of his belongings with him. If he doesn't get a bigger bag he might have to leave some of his possessions behind. He was trying to buy an $8 box to pack things in, but there was no tape to assemble it.

The whole situation is pretty long and crazy, but in the midst of trying to help him I realized that there really are no resources for people who need help on the spur of the moment in the middle of the night. I tried to find shelter and food for him but was limited to suggesting the convenience store around the corner from the bus stop, as it was the only cheap place that was still open at that late hour.

I have food, a sleeping bag, big duffle bags and money I could give him but I do not feel safe driving by myself in the middle of the night to a bus station in downtown. I raided my phonebook desperately seeking to find someone I could call to go with me. No answer.

So, what do I do? As a young female who's husband is out of town, what resources do I have? How can I help? Better question, what resources are there for anyone who needs help in the middle of the night? Where can someone turn to for food and shelter?

My new friend is sleeping on the floor of the bus station while he waits for his bus to depart in the morning. He probably spent his evening trying to decide which of his possessions to leave behind and he most likely grabbed a sandwich at the convenience store around the corner.

I am writing this because I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about my new friend and the terrible situation he is in and how much I want to help. I feel terrible that I am not driving downtown to bring him the items I know he desperately needs. I guess all I can do is...nothing. Now that I have had my eyes open to the world around me and I see the needs of others, I have the opportunity to help but I can't.

It's funny how things turn out.

Before we hung up the phone, my new friend said, "Thank you for doing everything that you could do to help me. I appreciate it. No one has ever done that much for me before. I just have to ask for one more thing. Please pray for me."

I was thanked for doing absolutely nothing. I feel wretched. The funny thing is that I will be getting a magazine in the mail once a month for the next two years as a reminder.

It's almost 1 in the morning and I know I have to go to sleep but I had to share this story and ask for you to please join me in praying for my new friend.

Good night.

Preparation

I have been spending a lot of time lately preparing to launch my new blog. I have been working hard to complete my list and organize it, put up some inspirational resources, and really spend time praying about this challenge. So, while you are browsing the pages, please keep in mind that it is a work in progress. I would LOVE to hear from you and get some feedback. Keep coming back to read about the progress I am making as I prepare to officially kickoff my challenge on New Year's Day.